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Archives for : April2009

A series of letters to the lady who parks like an idiot at the day care center.

Dear Shitty Parker,

Why must you take up two spaces every morning at the Day Care Center? Do you think that you are the only one who has to drop their child off in the morning? Do you think you are only one who noticed how friggin cold it is this time of year? Well let me tell you, you are not. There is a whole group of moms and dads that need to drop there precious cargo off at the Day Care Center each morning. All of us have very important things to attend to during the day (I don’t) and we’d all like a quick pain free drop off each morning, but you are making that extremely difficult. In the future if you could try to confine your vehicle to just one spot it would be greatly appreciated.

Frustrated,
Adam T. Courtney
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Dear Shitty Parker,

Today you parked your Porsche Cayenne sideways across three spots, including the Handicapped space. What the fuck is wrong with you? Just because your husband bought you that nice car doesn’t mean you get to do what ever the fuck you want (regardless of what he tells you). You apparently didn’t get the point of my last message, or maybe you are now just trying to piss me off. Either way, you can go suck it.

Pissed,
Adam
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Dear Shitty Parker,

Maybe you think it’s just me that isn’t happy with your parking? I can assure you, that is not the case. I have spoken with numerous (Just 1) other parents, and they all have witnessed and been disappointed with your parking skills. I really hope you can take this construcive critisim to heart, especially if you plan attending this summer’s picnic. I’d hate for you to be sitting in the corner ostricised by all of the other parents, simply because you can not handle a vechicle as big as yours. Christ, even the asshole in the BMW can park just fine.

Concerned,
Adam
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Dear Parker,

Today was better, you were almost entirely within the two lines. Your front tire was just crossing over, but I can live with that compared to what you used to do. Thanks for taking all of this to heart.

Pleasantly Suprised,
Adam
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Dear Shitty Parker,

Again today with the double parking, did you not see my glare as you dragged your little neanderthal into the Center kickin and screaming. I bet his conception looked pretty similiar. I don’t think I am getting through to you at all.

Patiently,
Adam
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Dear Shitty Parker,

I am giving up on the letter writing as it’s doing no good, and per my wife’s suggestion. I am warning you though, next time I see you taking up more than one spot, I’m just gonna park my fucking Lexus right behind you.

Confident,
Adam